The birds are singing, the grass is green, daffodils have come and gone. It's time to put your legs up and let someone else enjoy the view! When I took our new RED Bondage Sling (coming very soon) out for measuring, we all commented that it looked like a person wearing a very stylish dress in UberKinky colours so we decided to have a little fun with it.

The adjustable head rest is decorated with two silicone cock rings from Oxballs and a tiny sample didlo I got at a trade convention a couple of years ago. I had to take this picture in my stocking feet because my new girlfiend decided she wanted to borrow my new peeptoe shoes! Here she is striking a lovely pose just before enjoying the intermittent warm sunshine outside UberKinky HQ.

Why is it that when I ask for volunteers to help me demonstrate a product everyone makes themselves scarce? All I asked for was for someone to come out back with me behind our warehouse with a spanking paddle and a camera! I'm sure there are plenty of UberKinkateers out there who would jump at the chance to help Mistress Victoria demonstrate a product.

Once I convinced my lovely model I wasn't going to hurt her I led her outside where the glorious sun was shining bright for our photo shoot. She still seemed a little uneasy as I was swinging about this heavy duty spanking paddle but as I placed it in her expertly manicured hand she began to relax as she took a few tentative swings.

Her pretty pink and sparkly nails and soft hands brought just the right amount of femininity to the harsh industrial background as she formed an expert grip on the Jack Boot Print Wooden Spanking Paddle. When she gave it a few more skilful swings, I was beginning to think she had done this sort of thing before!

She slowly caressed the silky smooth texture of the back of the spanking paddle then trailed each of her delicate fingers across the rugged jack boot texture. She was delighted as she exclaimed. "I bet this would leave a right good mark!" swinging the paddle briskly yet again for good measure.

Once our photo shoot came to an end, we both took turns swinging the paddle, striking fear in the hearts of our onlookers! I managed to give myself a good smack across the palm of my hand which is still reminding me of our adventure with every throb.

All in all it was a great adventure and it was all in a day's work bringing you these lovely images for Toy With Me Tuesday. Enjoy!

It's dinner time here at UberKinky and you're cordially invited. We're having fresh tentacle soup for dinner, want some? You had better get some quick before it gets away! I've made a pot of creamy tentacle dildo soup and it looks like to me like it dosen't want to be eaten.

It's an erotic dish even Heston Blumenthal would be proud of! In the pot simmering away there's a lovely Icicles Number 24 Tentacle glass dildo trying to slink its way to freedom. Or maybe it was afraid of my knife rack?

I hope no one's done this idea yet. This is our first Toy With Me Tuesday in months because we've been absolutley swamped lately!

Wow! It looks like from the show of hands, UberKinky is well loved and our fans love fisting! Take a look and see if you recognize any familiar fists.

My personal favourite has to be the Oxballs Rex who sadly is currently on clearance. We've also got back in the back The Hand Fisting Toy still wrapped in shrink wrap because I thought he looked creepier that way, The Fist of Victory, The red and black Oxballs Fist and from Creative Mouldings: Double Fist Dildo, The Handyman Fist Dildo and The Fist Fisting Dildo.

I especially love the level of detail in the Oxballs Fist butt plugs.

Here at UberKinky, we've got a very special way of hanging our Christmas cards. As you may have guessed, we prefer our cards well hung (like so many other things) so when our Kinky Christmas Cards started rolling in this year we knew just how to keep them organized. We've strung them up and clipped them into place with Mawa Klamps! These nipple clamps are my personal favourite as they are not just limited to nipples! Try them on lips, labia, scrotums, crisp packets, sewing, laundry and as you see here...Christmas cards!

My, aren't we loved! We even got a card from the lovely folks at Give Lube!

And speaking of well hung, here's a corker from X Lube powdered lubricant (coming soon to UberKinky!) Ohh My!

That's it from UberKinky for 2012! Have a kinky Christmas and we wish you plenty of after care after you ring in the New Year!

As you may have noticed, it takes a special kind of person to work at UberKinky. The kind of person who just isn't right in the head. When you find a handfull of these not right in the head kind of people and put them in a room for 8 hours everyday, things happen. UberKinky things happen.

The day we got our Rim Seat we decided to have a little fun with it. There were pictures. These pictures were of course used in our first Christmas themed Toy With Me Tuesday post Yuletide Log. During our insane photoshoot, inside my head sparked a very twisted idea and now I'd like to share with you our UberKinky Christmas Card to you our customers.

Have a very safe and wonderful Christmas and we will see you all, our faithful UberKinkateers in the New Year!

I did warn everybody I wasn't right in the head!

Oh, and what would Christmas be without Mr Hanky, the Christmas Poo courtesy of the Oxballs Log!

It's not easy. I found I had knit myself into a corner once I got all the way around to the start of the loop. With the freezing weather we've been having lately, I thought it would be rather fitting to knit a woolly willy warmer for my mister with a set of sounds from our Deluxe Cock Stuffing Urethral Sounds Set. I didn't want him going around with a chilly willy!

Can you see the extra little fella poking his head out from under my desk there? Take a closer look... That's my erect stunt cock for photography! He's been spotted around UberKinky in the past, most recently as the brave soul modeling the Oxballs Nut Buster.

Here is the stunt cock circled for those who are really bad at Where's Willy.

Tune in next week for another exciting adventure in "Not Right in the Head Theatre" from your friends at UberKinky with Toy With Me Tuesday!

It was a winter wonderland Christmas spectacular in Hull's City Center on Monday night. Once again Hull's kinkiest gathered for the final Hull Fet Night of 2012 and celebrated the year end in style. Nemisis provided the play kit which was dotted around the lavish surroundings of Fantasy Gentlemen's Club. Music was supplied by none other than Paul Domaster himself setting the perfect atmosphere for fun. Everyone was in the festive spirit as the joyous sounds of rhythmic flogging filled the air in time with the ambient music.

Meet and greet duties were headed up by one of the Dungeon Monitors on duty who was decked out in full reindeer get up. I was lucky enough to grab a hold of his reins and go on a Yuletide reindeer ride which was followed up by a soothing foot massage! Up on the mezzanine, Moist was up there doing his thing while others enjoyed looking on from the VIP section.

On the ground floor there was plenty of black cling film about as many took turns getting all wrapped up. My sub and I watched on as there was a ‘Guess the Dom' game going on where the cling filmed kinkster had to guess who had just smacked him. Deep down in the dungeon, it seemed word had got around the local scene as many were partaking in these private rooms for a more intimate play session.

A kinky good time was had by all on a cold winter's night and by closing time many didn't want to leave as the crew were trying to pack up and get back on that long road back to Birmingham.

The next Hull Fetish Night will be held on 4 February, 2013 so mark your calendars! If you're in the area, come join us in the fun and be sure to look for me, Mistress Victoria.

For more information check out Club Dominion's website.

It's not Christmas yet, it's not even December yet! Here at UberKinky we decided to have a dirty protest against all the way too early Christmas festivities with an UberKinky approved Yuletide log. (Just wait till you see our Christmas card design!)

This week's Toy With Me Tuesday post features our new Rim Seat (coming soon to UberKinky!) and the Oxballs Log dildo. We are never short on the toilet humour here at UberKinky! Our lovely model gets into position and shows us an alternative way of using a Poo dildo! Are you ready to take a seat?

Tune in next week when we get into the Christmas mood for our next Toy With Me Tuesday submission. Until then, don't forget to flush!

Bigger and better than ever before, the latest in the Hull Fetish Night series was a night to remember complete with a stylish new venue. Hull Fet 9 was fetish set to fireworks. As the outside world was celebrating Bonfire Night, Hull's erotic elite passed up sparklers for spankings and took over Fantasy Gentlemen's Club in Hull City Centre.

As I entered the event, I was greeted by the event organizers and Dungeon Monitors who were more than happy to provide me with a grand tour. The bar area was spacious and many took advantage of the generous seating to socialise between play sessions. The ground floor featured play kit by Nemesis including a St. Andrew's Cross and a few spanking benches for anyone brave enough to have a go while the very back held a rope bondage play area, complete with seating areas for curious spectators.

The V.I.P. mezzanine offered additional bondage furniture as well as lush seating for relaxing with play partners or simply being a voyeur. From where we were seated, my slave and I had a front row view of Moist doing what he does best: flogging, spanking, knife play and violet wand play. There was even another couple using every spanking cane they brought with them. I had a great time looking over the balcony at all the different play sessions taking place below.

The real treat was in the basement; down below there were semi-private rooms for a more intimate play area. The hallway of this subterranean dungeon echoed with the cries of other play groups enjoying their private punishment; a chorus which my slave and I were happy to add to.

Overall, Hull Fetish Night Nine was a huge success, with the much bigger crowd, people seemed to feel more comfortable as there was much more playing going on.

For more information check out Club Dominion's website.

I love Halloween! It has always been my favourite holiday and back in America, we do it big style! Night clubs are ram packed, rows of haunted houses to tour through, mischief and house parties. Let's not forget all the creative costumes and candy! I was especially excited when Vixen Creations came out with their limited edition Leoweeenie dildos made in the same platinum silicone material but with bats! Here he is looking smug with the creatively carved pumpkin with our uber umlaut Uber smile. He was named Uberjeff the kinky pumpkin by Boobaloo_Lisa on Twitter but we've been calling him Jeff for short.

I've always loved red and black, these two very striking colours in my opinion have always exuded boldness as well decadance. If you ever met me in person, I am more than likely wearing one or both of these glorious colours! This week's Toy With Me Tuesday submission (mmmmm submission!) is called A Study in UberKinky, I chose some brightly coloured toys to go along with some of my own bits from home for an unforgettable UberKinky work of art.

In this photo, we see the Oxballs Bubba larger than life butt plug, some Fetish Fantasy Japanese Silk Rope in a gorgeous shade of red, one half of the Sex & Mischief Silky Rope set which I've fashioned into a bit gag, the little red devils that our Toy With Me Tuesday creator, Nymphomaniac Ness loves so much :), the Jackhammer Jesus Dildo in black, a cool necklace I bought at the last Skin Two event and last but not least, the cute little fascinator hat which I wore to an event last saturday and got loads of compliments. Not bad for £2 at ASDA!

Tune in next week for our Halloween themed Toy With Me Tuesday post!

There's not much out there scarier than what goes on in the UberKinky Testing Dungeon and this week's Toy With Me Tuesday post was no exception. This week's theme is Kinky or Scary so I knew the perfect toy to fit into both. When asked if someone would model our Equine Speculum for me, everyone seemed to clench their cheeks as they all said "Neigh!" I only needed a hand model!

This cold, hard metal speculum held up against our cold, hard dungeon wall opens up to an eye watering 42cm (16.5 inches) in diameter, no wonder everyone whinnied in fear!

Tune in next week for another thilling adventure in Toy With Me Tuesday. Don't forget to follow the fun on Twitter with the hash tag #ToyWithMeTuesday.

These urethral sounds are music to your ears! For this week's Toy With Me Tuesday Post, we took the Cock Stuffing urethral sound set (coming soon to UberKinky!) and created a urethral sound wind chime to hang out back in our UberKinky garden. This project goes hand in hand with our UberKinky Beginners Guide to Penis Plugs and Urethral Sounds where we've provided and in depth guide on how to safely play with your penis plug or urethral sound including UberKinky's picks for the absolute beginner.

What beautiful music they make! Tune in next week for another thrilling adventure of Toy With Me Tuesday!

This week's Toy With Me Tuseday post features our newest product, the Strict Leather Covered Humbler. Just like any decent slave, this delightful CBT device makes itself useful when not being played with. Here we see the Strict Leather Covered Humbler being used as a pen tidy to keep my office supplies nice and tidy. My desk has never been so tidy!

Tune in next week to see what fanciful UberKinky item I use in a creative way for the ever popular Toy With Me Tuesday!

This week's Toy With Me Tuesday photo showcases a divine gift of pure pleasure in a pleasing and palatable purple. A royal treat isn't always about a jewel in your crown...

I love my Crystal Delights Butt Plug with Heliotrope Swarovski crystal! It's an absolutley stunning way to shine from behind! It was given to me by Shellie herself, creator of the Crystal Delights luxury butt plug range. The Milk Tray was a delightful gift from a lovely person who simply adores Mistress Victoria. The purple shawl I thought elegantly matched my Crystal Delights butt plug so as I was playing around taking photographs (and who dosen't take pictures of their butt plugs?) I thought it looked quite inviting next to the box of chocolates. What better way to spend a Sunday afternoon!

Tune in next week for another thrilling adventure in sex toy photography with Toy With Me Tuesday.

Curious about the water sports fetish? Proposing to partake in some piss play? Gagging for a golden shower? Here's the UberKinkypedia factsheet on urolagnia and urophagia to help you get started.

For those interested in golden showers and drinking urine, one has to wonder if it's even safe. Remember, what goes in must come out so any medication or supplement will be excreted in the urine. If your Top is on the birth control pill and you drink Her urine, congratulations! You've just consumed the very same birth control hormones.

The main concern when drinking urine, also known as urophagia, would be the sodium and mineral content. It's always best if the person providing the urine drinks water about an hour before the piss play scene to help dilute the urine. It's never a good idea to drink urine while dehydrated as it will make you even more so.

To reduce the risk of transmitting bacteria, it is good practice to start mid-stream rather than at the very beginning. This allows the urethra to be flushed out of any lingering bacteria. Worried about STI's? Studies show that urine that does not show any visible blood is unable to transmit STI's or HIV. This doesn't give any excuse to not know your partner's status. It's better to be safe than sorry! If you're using catheters, sterilize your equipment. You want to take home memories of your water sports, not a nasty infection like cystitis.

So how do I get started on my yellow brick road?

First things first, do you want to give or receive? What do you want to get out of your water sports fetish? When you start looking for a play partner, be ready with something in mind you'd like to try. Once you've decided how you want your piss play to flow, decide where you would like your water sports to take place. Some play in the bath while some go out and purchase a paddling pool to protect floors and furniture. Some even play in their beds and sleep in a whole different kind of wet spot.

Now all you need is a willing participant! Fetish dating sites help find people in your area with your specific tastes or if you're not into the whole cyber scene, the hanky code for water sports is yellow.

This week's Toy With Me Tuesday post features a lovely place setting for two. Sure there's one plate but if you look closely, the dinner napkin is being held in place by none other than the Oxballs Nailed Ball Stretcher! Looks like it's your meat and two veg for din-dins tonight. How's that for a spicy meatball!

Join us next time for another thrilling installment of Toy With Me Tuesday!

Every time I walk by this product in our warehouse, I think of a Flintstone's style necklace so I thought for this week's Toy with me Tuesday I would adorn myself with our Anal Balls from Mister B. I'm sure Wilma would be jealous!

Here you see me wearing the latest in anal ball fashion. I am wearing the Mister B Anal Balls in medium... MEDIUM! I wonder what extra large looks like!

UberKinky
14D iPark
Innovation Drive
Hull HU5 1SG
Info@UberKinky.co.uk

UberKinky Announces the UberKinky Brand of Bondage Tape

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Kingston Upon Hull, UK – UberKinky has introduced their own brand of PVC bondage tape in glossy red and black colours. This bondage tape is a heavy duty bondage restraint yet sticks to itself and not to the wearer's skin. This bondage tape can also be used to create custom fetish wear.

The UberKinky Bondage Tape sells for £4.99 and buyers can get multi-buy discounts when buying from the UberKinky website. UberKinky Bondage Tape can also be purchased at some fetish events, and for an added cost, customers can be gift wrapped their purchase to enjoy while attending the fetish event.

UberKinky is the UK's leading bondage gear and extreme sex toys retailer located in Kingston Upon Hull in East Yorkshire.

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As my friend and I walked in, we were greeted by one of the Dungeon Masters who immediately gave us a tour of the venue and a quick overview of the house rules. There were two dedicated play areas as well as various bondage furniture thought the venue to enjoy.

The event started off small as you would imagine but as the place filled up a bit, people became more adventurous. There was a suspension or two in the back next to a beautiful girl being bound in stunning shibari rope bondage. In quiet corners, couples and groups were enraptured with various sensation play toys and tools. Many people were lining up to be tied up and tickled with the violet wand.

The people were lovely, one minute we were talking about fisting porn and the next; I was talking with a gentleman in a latex thong and assless chaps about quantum physics. Very stimulating indeed! The overall vibe of the crowd was as playful as it was accommodating.

The next Hull Fetish Night will be held sometime in October so be on the lookout. If you're in the area, come join us in the fun and be sure to look for me, Mistress Victoria.

For more information check out Club Dominion's website.

This week's Toy With Me Tuesday shows UberKinky's support for Team GB in that certain global sporting competition going on this week. Here we see five gorgeous Oxballs Powerballs cock rings to keep our boys going long and strong. Why did we choose an American product to display proudly with a British Flag?

Some of you may already know that yours truly is actually from America so I thought it would be a fitting tribute to combine the two countries to show a little solidarity... even if it is a competition. Like Oxballs, I have been welcomed into this wonderful country with open arms. Oxballs have seemed to taken the UK by storm and show no signs of stopping. So here you have it, five randomly arranged Oxballs Powerballs cock rings in five very random colours!

For this week's Toy With Me Tuesday, the inspiration came when I saw an empty box in our warehouse full of packing peanuts when I thought, what if you had to assemble your own sex doll? Choose a pair of feet, choose your boobs, pick a face... a custom Build a Bird creation! It would all come in pieces of course with undiscernable instructions complete with poor clip art and some odd mini tool which you have 20 of and no real use for after you've built your item.

Here we see Doc Johnson's The Fist dildo making a repeat appearance, he is quite irresitable! We've also got Belladonna's Foot Soldiers foot dildos and making a special guest appearance from our sister site, Passion8, the Fuck My Face Extreme Deep Throat Mega Masturbator from Pipedream

What comes to mind when you think of the words Anal Stretching? Does your mind wander to the first time you ever saw Goatse? If you've never even tried a butt plug yet you're interested in having a seriously floppy rectum then look no further than our UberKinky Guide to Anal Stretching.

Why Anal Stretching

Anal stretching 101

Well, why not? If done carefully, the process of anal stretching should be pleasurable with only slight pain. If you experience excessive pain or bleeding then you are getting a bit ahead of yourself. Slow down! Safe and effective stretching takes time. After a good anal stretching session, it takes about three to six hours for the anus to return to normal. Anal stretching gives you the ability to enjoy larger extreme dildos, fisting or other activities which take up more room in your bum and will not cause functional change to digestion or defecation.*

Getting ready for a good stretch

To prepare for most anal sexual encounters, including anal stretching, there's always some preparation involved. First off, have a good, satisfying poo to empty yourself out. Getting your daily recommendation of fiber should make this easy to do. Then really clean yourself out with a good douche or enema. Take your time with this. Make sure the water is at a comfortable temperature and be prepared to do at least two or three cycles. You can use a traditional douche system which relies on a water filled bag or you can use a shower head attachment. When the water runs clear, you're ready to go!

And now the fun begins

First and foremost – lube. You will need plenty of lubricant. The rectum does not self lubricate like a vagina does so it's imperative that you use a good quality lubricant. Use a lube shooter to insert some lube into your rectum and then lube up your sphincter and toy. If you're using your hands it's even more important to replenish your lubricant as your hands may absorb some of the lube.

Meo Anal Stretching Ring

Remember, if you notice any blood STOP! You may be going too fast or too rough and the last thing in the world you need is an infection. Relax and start off with inserting a finger, slowly moving it around in circles. Is it comfortable so far? Now try a small, tapered butt plug. Insert it in your anus until you feel discomfort and then slide it back out. Give it a second and then try to reinsert again, you will find that you can go a little further. Repeat this until you've taken the whole butt plug. Once you find you are comfortable with taking a butt plug of this size, move up to the next size and repeat until you have that gaping hole you're after. The MEO Anal Stretching Rings come in five different sizes and are specially engineered to stay in place while you train. They're perfect for longer term anal training or for using your anus as a receptacle for liquids or objects.

Give yourself a day or two in between play times for your bum to heal and recover but don't worry, it will remember its new found elasticity.

So there you have it, the UberKinky Guide to Anal Stretching. Before long you'll be a butt plug size queen with a big floppy anus! Just remember the cardinal rules for safety: lubricate, go slow and stop if you see blood.

* For Reference BMEzine wiki article about anal stretching

I like to call this one, The Devil May Come. Ox from Oxballs likes to put intricate detail into his works of art and this dildo was no different, you can just see the trail of pre-cum at the tip there.

I have to say, we're really having a lot of fun with Toy With Me Tuesdays!

UberKinky has thrown their hat into the ring to join in on the fun that is Toy With Me Tuesday, brought to you by Nymphomaniac Ness. Toy With Me Tuesday is where sex toy lovers come together and share their love of sex toys and creative photography. It's a bit of fun for all involved!

This week, we've recreated the iconic Statue of Liberty scene from Planet of the Apes.

Somewhere in the Universe, there must be something better than man!

Here we find our lovely nameless model posing as The Statue of Liberty using Doc Johnson's The Fist dildo as her torch bearing hand. In the foreground we see a tiny toy dildo and the Mr. Limpy horse he rode in on.

We've really enjoyed taking part in this week's Toy With Me Tuesday and have many more crazy ideas for future weeks!

UberKinky
14D iPark
Innovation Drive
Hull HU5 1SG
Info@UberKinky.co.uk

UberKinky Announces the UberKinky Electro Sex Pleasure Probe range

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Kingston Upon Hull, UK – UberKinky has released their own range of electro sex probes called the UberKinky Electro Sex Pleasure Probe range. The new probes will be available for sale on 1 July, 2012.

The UberKinky range of Electro Sex Pleasure Probes feature gold contacts which offer a more profound electro conductivity for greater stimulation. The gold material also means they are hypoallergenic as they do not contain Chromium, Nickel or latex. UberKinky Pleasure Probes also do not contain any soldering inside to avoid any rupture in the electric conduction thus reducing the ohmic impedance.

These electro sex pleasure probes are built to last and provide intense electro stimulation for years to come. All UberKinky Electro Sex Pleasure Probes come with 2mm female connectors to connect to most electro sex power boxes.

UberKinky is the UK's leading bondage gear and extreme sex toys retailer located in Kingston Upon Hull in East Yorkshire.

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Maybe it's the man who longs for the intensity of physical pleasure, a pleasure that can last for days. In a recent online survey a sex site asked men how quickly they could ejaculate the average answer was 37 seconds. Many of these men are tired of the ten second tremble and want a more tumultuous, earth moving experience and that's exactly what chastity can give a man. Chastity can stop compulsive masturbation and stop internet porn surfing. After all with a chastity device the man has one thing on his mind, that's his release, and who holds the key, certainly not porn. Masturbation too for many men can lead to feelings of guilt, even feelings of weakness and self hatred; with chastity he has no worries.

Many couples are into Chastity Play

Maybe it's the woman who longs to say goodbye to the mediocre 5 minute Sunday morning sex and wants to relish in a Five-Day-Fiesta. Many women complain that they don't want "McDonalds" sex. They want the slow lingering passion that they remember from their courtship. Read any dating book, Mars and Venus et al, and they will tell you that a woman likes to plan. Don't spring on a woman "We've been invited out tonight" at 6.00 when the taxi is arriving at 8.00, let her plan, let her prepare. Women love to "get ready" I don't just mean that in the sense of an evening, but their mind will wander, anticipate and look forward to a date, women can and do plan days in advance. This is the wonderful bonus of chastity, a woman can plan the scenario, she can enjoy the moment, anticipate and salivate about the experience to come.

Our sales figures show a ratio of 5:2 female buyers, our research from "conventional" chastity sites seems to indicate that they are the domain of male buyers. We were heartened by our figures because we know that couples are embracing the pleasures of chastity in all its diversity, and that means men and women. Is chastity about dominating a man? Well yes we agree some men like to be dominated; unusually it is some who have high powered jobs and lots of perceived power. Or is chastity about a dominating woman, or is it about empowering a woman to take a man's sexuality in her hands and control it similar to her own? There are so many dynamics involved in chastity the permutations are endless and every one different, just as we are.

We read on one website "most women buy chastity devices to correct sexual problems with their men". Our experience has been very different from this. Whilst there have been women purchasing chastity devices on behalf of an errant husband, and errant husbands purchasing them to prove devotion and renew flagging confidence every purchase is different. Whatever the choice we believe that a couple purchases a chastity device together, after all a woman cannot choose it and make her man wear it unless he is complicit in the journey. Chastity play is a delicious way to enjoy new found pleasures together, whatever the reasons behind it.

Some of the fun around chastity play can be discussing the boundaries, after all when a couple starts dating they spend hours discussing the progress of their relationship, their hopes and fears, their expectations. Chastity can be enlightening because they once again discuss their boundaries, their hopes and fears of what chastity will bring to their relationship. Chastity can bring, a new awareness, a new beginning, where expectations, hopes and fears are discussed just like at the beginning of a new relationship with a trusted loving and committed partner.

One thing is true, a couple who experience chastity together, enjoy each other on a level sometimes unimagined.

Ball stretching should always be done with care. Some men have a "high ball sac" others hang like pendulums. Many men prefer the lower hanging ones to make their penis look larger and enjoy the feeling of having their balls gently weighted, stretched and pulled.

Ball Stretchers can be used at any time of day or high to effectively stretch the scrotal sacs, many men like to experience their balls hanging low and over a period of time this can be easily and effectively achieved. For starters to stretching we recommend a simple leather collar, if a man is looking for faster results the addition of weight with Split Collar Rings means even faster, better results.

Leather Ball Stretchers

Leather Ball Stretchers come in a variety of sizes and designs. A basic model is just a simple leather strap with snap fastenings. These can be difficult to size unless the fastenings are adjustable. Look for good quality leather, the collar snaps around the testicles so that it keeps them pulled down. We recommend that a newcomer starts with the smallest collar first (usually about 1 inch in length) and as the balls stretch, change to a deeper collar for a danglier dangle. The leather should always be comfortable, ChastityUK prefers the lace up variety, the leather is soft and supple, with just the right amount of support for effective stretching, and with the lace up facility it means that the stretcher can be easily adjusted for a comfortable fit on the diameter, there should be no pinching or squeezing. ChastityUK supplies the Giraffe Ball Stretcher, currently one of our best selling stretchers, and ideal for beginners and "newbies" to Chastity Play.

Steel Rings

Naturally weighty, steel rings increase the pull downward. They come in a variety of sizes and by using several cock rings together a man can effectively add to the stretch and the weight at the same time. There is a technique to using these rings, as the rings are fixed, it is necessary to feed the scrotal skin through the ring first, followed by the testes. Because the rings are a fixed size a man needs to get the correct size through which to fit his testicles, too small and he won't get them through, too big and they may just slip off. Currently because of the sizing issues surrounding solid steel cock rings, ChastityUK do not offer these for sale, preferring to offer the far superior, Split Collar Rings known as the Steel Ball Stretcher.

Split Collar Rings

Split Collar Rings also known as Steel Ball Stretchers, vary in weight and are by far the best quality type of ball stretching rings we offer. They are somewhat advantageous over steel rings because the ring splits in half and is applied around the testicles and secured by the two screws that are tightened by the allen key (supplied), so sizing is a lot easier and more comfortable. The heavy weight of them also helps to add to the stretch.

Urethreal sounding can be a rewarding experience if done properly. Imagine how amazing it would feel if you could stimulate both the inside and the outside of your penis at the same time. Many men have been enjoyed the unadulterated stimulation and with this handy guide, you too can enjoy penis plugs and urethral sounds safely.

Choose a penis plug or urethral sound with a rounded, tapered tip

The rounded and tapered tip helps prepare your sensitive urethra for a gentle stretch as you ease your chosen penis plug or urethral sound through your meatus and into your urethra. Save the more extreme styles of penis plugs and sounds for when you've become accustomed to the sensation and work your way up. Generally it's good to have a penis plug with a ring or enlarged end so it doesn't slip in and get lost. As for material, stainless steel is the most common but you will also find aluminium, and silicone urethral sounds and penis plugs. These materials are body safe and withstand repeated sterilization.

Keep your work area clean and sterilized, including your hands

Safety first - an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and you REALLY don't want to experience a nasty infection! First off, sterilize your urethral sound or penis plug in an autoclave or boiling water. Never use bleach on stainless steel as it could cause dangerous faults in the material. You can however soak silicone sounds and plugs in 10% bleach water. Urethral sounds and penis plugs can also be wiped down with rubbing alcohol. Now prepare your work area. Remove any excess clutter and spray down the work surface with anti-bacterial toy cleaner or bleach water or wipe with rubbing alcohol. Ensure your penis is clean and wash your hands with hot water and anti-bacterial soap. Some men prefer to use sterile gloves.

Only use sterile lubricant

Here at UberKinky, we cannot stress this enough. We sell several sterile lubricants which are perfect for urethral sounding or penis plug play. The lubricant helps your sound or plug glide into place comfortably while the sterile formula keeps you from getting a nasty bladder infection. Even in hospital conditions infection is not uncommon. Should you get an infection, check it out immediately.

If it's your first time GO SLOW!

Slow and steady wins the race, go to fast and you risk injuring yourself. If you feel pain, stop immediately and slowly remove the sound or plug. If you see blood, see a doctor. Start while your penis is soft. Be aware that with any urethral play there will be some irritation as you are stretching your urethra. Once a urethral sound is inserted more than 4 inches, it will usually rotate slightly and pull the rest of the sound down. Once you have your sound or plug in place and you're comfortable, experiment with light gentle strokes on your penis.

Enjoy!

Urethral play can be a rewarding experience if done properly. Once you have your sound or plug in place and you're comfortable, experiment with light gentle strokes on your penis. After repeated use, you will be able to move on to bigger, better and even more extreme pieces. If your urethral sound or penis plug is metal, you can use it as an electro sex probe. Some men have found pleasure in touching a vibrator to the end or even a tuning fork!

The CB6000 is an all-time favourite in the chastity play family

Your choice of chastity device should be suitable for comfortable, long term wear. Here at UberKinky we've taken the hard work out of choosing to enable you as a couple to enjoy your choice with peace of mind. A Chastity device should be secure, yet easy to fit, strong but unnoticeable under clothing. There are many different varieties, and an online search will reveal many home-made devices too.

UberKinky is an approved supplier of the CB range of Chastity devices, the CB2000, the CB3000, the CB6000and The Curve. Please beware that that there are a number of unscrupulous web sites, (including eBay) both here in the UK, in Europe and the US who are promoting copies for a fraction of the price. These are poorly constructed so please beware, if it sounds too good to be true - it probably is. As an approved supplier of the CB Range we have a signed agreement direct with the US manufacturer, agreeing to their terms of supply. Only the best suppliers feature the genuine CB range.

By purchasing a chastity device from UberKinky you can be assured of a proven quality device and many thousands of happy wearers and keyholders. The genuine device that we purchase from Nevada in the US is seamless, comfortable and safe; the cheap Chinese copies offered on e bay and similar are not of the same quality, so Caveat Emptor (Buyer Beware)

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So often we hear men say that they wish that women would instigate sexual relations, more or in some cases ever. A man who constantly asks for sex from his partner is sometimes doubtful of her desire for him and her desire to make love - Is she agreeing to sex because she wants to, Is she agreeing to sex because she FEELS she has to? Chastity play is ideal for couples like this.

Some women feel the same too, if she is always the instigator of sex she may feel her partner responds out of "duty" she may want her partner to experience more desire and more longing for her just the way he used to do. Many women want men to feel the burning desire they felt during their early days, when he couldn't wait to make love her, when lovemaking lasted for hours not minutes and when she was "always" on his mind. Chastity play is ideal for couples like this.

Chastity also has links with fidelity, the man who has "played away" from home, or been caught masturbating to internet porn may want to show his partner that is committed to their relationship and chastity is an ideal way to reassure her and enhance their relationship. It is his undertaking to her that his penis is solely at her disposal, this is a big commitment for any man, and a precious pledge that he offers to his partner that could potentially open them both up to a whole new world of intimate pleasure, and beyond.UberKinky's range of chastity devicesis ideal for couples like this.

Chastity play for both partners can invigorate their intimate pleasures. She will find that he is more attentive, more responsive and more acquiescent to her wishes. When he wears his chastity device, he is trying to earn a release to enable his treasure, his prized possession to be touched, and loved and adored in a way that only chastity release can do. He wants to be cherished and enjoyed and Chastity play will amplify these feelings many times over. She holds the key, both literally and metaphorically and the dynamics that this creates between the partners can be electric.

1. the state or quality of being chaste
2. not having sex, or only having a sexual relationship with the person whom are you married to

To most people, chastity in the modern 21st Century seems like a bit of an archaic idea. Why would anyone in their right mind want to strap down and lock up their genitals?! Before you choke on your cornflakes at the idea, let us explain a few common True and Falsie facts about chastity. You might just change your mind!

• Chastity makes sex better
  TRUE! Ever heard of the saying, 'good things come to those who wait'? Yes, it's also true that your manhood is under lock and key and no, you won't be able to masturbate and it's hard to gain an erection. But your partner isn't going to lock your penis away for all of eternity; we're only talking about a few days abstinence here! Just think, if you have had no 'release', all of that testosterone, ejaculate and hours thinking about an orgasm is building up and up until your keyholder finally unlocks you. She's raring to go because you haven't been pestering her every night, and you're as horny as a bull. The result? Best sex of your life! It really is that simple.
• Chastity is just for religious people
  FALSE! Chastity devices were designed in the 14th century and were largely used by people wanting to protect their 'virtue'. In other words, men attached them onto their daughters, mistresses and wives (probably in that order!) to prohibit them from having sex freely with whomever they choose. Religion only comes into play when thinking about abstinence from pre-marital sex, and even so, not every religious person has a CB6000. Chastity is now commonly used in consensual relationships and in BDSM play as a way to surrender control over their sexual behaviour or to prevent infidelity and masturbation.
• Chastity devices are heavy and impossible to wear
  FALSE! The original designs of chastity devices were worn as belts (chastity belts) and were made from heavy and uncomfortable welded iron or steel. Thankfully, times have changed! Our huge selection of chastity devices at UberKinky are either a traditional-style metal device, or the best selling and super comfortable CB range. We cater for women too, so you and your partner can both gain the benefits from chastity. You know what they say, the couple that plays together, stays together!
• Chastity will just make me sexually frustrated
  FALSE! If anything, wearing a chastity device will do quite the opposite. In masturbating every day/several times a day, and having sex on tap, you lose the potency of your orgasm. Many men find the experience becoming less and less pleasurable, resulting in a habitual and joyless compulsion. Chastity however, makes you value your orgasms, by having some control over your urges you are reclaiming the power of your sexual experiences. Additionally, orgasm denial and the knowledge that your sexual control is in the hands of your partner can be very arousing for you and your key holder.
• Chastity will improve the quality of my relationship
  TRUE! Chastity play can restore intimacy and trust between many couples, particularly in relationships where there has been infidelity, or where the male frequently relies on porn and masturbation as opposed to sex; chastity is a great way to reassure her and to enhance the relationship. Another way chastity can really improve the quality your relationship is through the waiting and anticipation involved. We hear a lot of men saying they want more sex and wish their partners would instigate more often- or in some cases, ever! A man who is constantly asking for sex can feel doubtful and self-conscious about her desire for him; is she agreeing to sex because she wants to, is she agreeing to sex because she feels she has to? When a man wears his chastity device, he is giving his partner total control and ownership of his penis, she holds the key, both literally and metaphorically and the dynamics that this creates between the partners can be electric.

Male Chastity prevents a man from touching his genitals for sexual pleasure, this in itself helps to heighten a man's sexual feelings. Men are used to touching themselves many times a day, when they urinate they touch themselves, they touch themselves for comfort, they touch themselves for sexual pleasure. By denying a man this touch that he has had since childhood makes him focus on what his sensations will be when he can touch and be touched; and re-experience that pleasure.

Here at UberKinky we are proud to introduce you to Chastity Play, and its varied and wonderful pleasures that can be experienced. Don't be intimidated by Chastity Play, enter into a new the world of intimacy - potentially the key for unsurpassed pleasures for many couples. One of the challenges often posed to us here at UberKinky is How to Introduce a partner to chastity play. This can be difficult as many people perceive chastity play as the domain of fetish enthusiasts.

However here at UberKinky you will find that chastity play can open up a whole new world of pleasurable experiences to a "conventional" couple.

Today we live in a "McDonald's" culture, we want everything now, at the click of a finger, and at the click of a mouse - we aren't prepared to wait. Relationships can be transient, we can choose different partners nightly if we so desire. We can swing, we can swap, we can experiment with same sex relations, and we can do virtually whatever we like. Yet many of us can remember early relationships, where the touch of a hand or kiss on the cheek could send us into ecstasy. This is what Chastity can bring back to a couple, the frission, the electricity, the intense pleasure that so many of us have lost in today's helter-skelter lifestyle.

Here at UberKinky we want you to take it slowly - just like the first time. Chastity is about giving - giving time, giving space and giving pleasure - not in the conventional sense we grant you, but then conventional "pleasure" can wane after a while...Chastity play is merely another facet of enhanced intimacy and pleasure. "Conventional" pleasure can sometimes be like a McDonald's, or any fast-food meal, momentarily satisfactory, fulfilling a need, but nothing substantial.

Chastity Play will stay in the mind, in the heart and in the senses for days, weeks, months and for some a lifetime. Welcome to UberKinky, experiment with the pleasure, if it's not for you, then you can put it down to one of life's great experiences, a pleasure you have both taken and enjoyed. However we think if you try it, you really could experience undiscovered depths in your relationship and emotional highs and pleasures you could not have thought possible.

Now, who's for a Burger or Chateaubriand...

My new CB-6000 chastity belt arrived at the weekend - only 24 hours after ordering - and neither my Keyholder or I could wait to try it on!

The first thing we noticed was the stylish packaging. The CB-6000 comes in a discreet zip-up carry case - great for keeping all the 'rings and things' together - that would fit in a large wash-bag and certainly wouldn't be out of place in any over-night bag.

The design is subtly different from any of the existing range: CB-2000, CB-3000 and The Curve; and the designers seem to have worked really hard to keep the best points of them all while eliminating any drawbacks.

Most obviously this starts with the 'cuffs' or 'rings'. The CB-2000 has completely solid rings while the CB-3000 has cuffs with a hinge that closes from around the base of the scrotum. In contrast the CB-6000 has 'C-shaped' rings and two 'closure' pieces that go across the top of the penis. The rings have a soft, rectangular - rather than circular - cross-section that seems to give both a more comfortable and secure fit.

The guide pins also face away from the body - instead of towards it - on the CB-6000, which also increases comfort. The locking pin has been given an elliptical - not circular - cross-section that prevents it rotating; and the pins and spacers have been manufactured to much tighter tolerances, allowing minimal movement and so a more 'snug' and secure fit.

The actual cage is slightly larger than on the CB-3000 and has been redesigned, with a more anatomically correct appearance and with ventilation holes on the sides, rather than on top and underneath. Even the lock has been improved: given a matt-black plastic coating eliminating the embarrassing 'clinking' sounds you occasionally got at awkward moment with the brass models.

As anyone with one of the existing 'CB' range will already know, it is vital to take some time to experiment with the different permutations of the five rings sizes and lengths of the locking pins and spacers until you find the right combination for you, combining both security and comfort. It also seems to me that the rings on the CB-6000 have a slightly smaller internal dimension than on the CB-3000 - and therefore tighter fit - but I haven't been able to confirm this.

That said, and as the owner of a CB-3000, I found the CB-6000 very easy to get used to after the first couple of attempts at 'lining up' the guide pins and the two halves of the gate-closures. Once on it is a very comfortable fit and I very quickly got to the I-almost-don't know it's-there feeling.

It's a great and relatively inexpensive way to introduce a male (or female) to the delights of chastity play. And how about this girls: it has to be the best sex toy in the world! There are no batteries to let you down and it's totally silent, you don't have to put it on... let alone put it in anywhere. It guarantees your man's fidelity, but more than that his undivided attention. You can have sex anytime you want, but only when you want and your fella will do almost anything you like in advance to make sure you're completely happy.

Heaven!

I hit the Big Five-O back in the summer - 50's not that old these days, honest - and bought myself a bicycle.

This was a proper bicycle: it actually looks 'retro' but is really very high-tech. (A bit like me come to think of it). Even the saddle has independent suspension, which you can actually 'soften' or 'harden'. The former I have found increasingly useful, not to say comfortable, especially with the few pounds I've put on over Christmas and somehow just haven't been able to shake off.

 

CB3000 in all its glory

 

I went into the 'Bike Boutique' sure of my own mind: "Listen my good man, I don't want a mountain bike because I'm not even going to be cycling down any mountains, let alone up them." Especially true since we live in the Fens: that horizontal hot-bed of cycling." "And I don't want a racing bike; with those funny, foreign drop handle bars, anorexically thin tyres and a seat that makes me piles ache just looking at it."

"What you want then squire," said the assistant, conspiratorially, "Is a hybrid." And twenty minutes later I walked, or rather pedalled out, the proud owner of a TREK Navigator 200 . . . and several hundred pounds lighter.

The first time I rode it into town a female friend stopped me: "Only you Rod. Most men when they turn 50 treat themselves to a sports car or some other penile-enhancing substitute. Only you would get yourself a bike!"

On the other hand, Clare, who has been my loyal spouse for half of those 50 years and therefore knows me better than most, simply shrugged: "It's the menopause."

And that set me thinking. Being slap-bang in the middle of the female kind, she would know. Of course us men don't suffer from hot-flushes, or insomnia or what's it called when you can't remember what things are called or where you left them or what day it is or even your own name? Oh yes, that's it amnesia!

Nor do we ignite into fits of incandescent rage just because your other half forgets something trivial like your wedding anniversary. Nor, as far as I am aware, are there male equivalent of menopausal jokes like this:

Q. How many women with the menopause does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 36.
Q. Why?
A. IT JUST DOES THAT'S ALL!!!!! (To really appreciate this try delivering it at an ear-bleeding decibel level and in a tone of voice that would blister paint.)

But undeniably men DO have a menopause. Just like for a woman, the effects can hit at different times and last for varying lengths of time and, I would argue, can be every bit as physically and psychologically profound.

Whether they admit it or not, most men like to think of themselves as a bit of a 'stud', a ladies' man. And I feel that for most men 'the menopause' arrives the day they realise they have suddenly become invisible, dropped right off the radar, as far as every nubile - and I mean that in its literal sense - women on the planet.

Being rich, famous and devilishly handsome can most certainly stave off this effect for a while . . . but it is only delaying the inevitable.

Physical deterioration is equally inevitable. We all look the mirror and kid ourselves: "I don't look any different." And genuinely we DO still feel like a 21 year old on the side. On the outside however the changes are so incremental and insidious you don't notice the difference. But try looking at a picture of yourself taken 20 or even ten years ago and then saying that you haven't changed a bit.

We are all living longer than we used to: old age is starting later and lasting longer; thanks to better diet, health-care and fitness regimes. Fifty something really is still middle-age these days. Nevertheless there comes the point where you have to accept that you are - how can I put this delicately? - Over-the-hill. The body starts to lose muscle-tone, skin loses its elasticity and things start to sag.

As anyone who has done contact sports will now, the body takes much longer to recover, minor cuts and bruises can take weeks to heal. Menopausal men become tired much more quickly and, as a result, will be mentally less sharp. As a child I used to wonder why aged uncles, particularly, and aunts always used to fall asleep after Christmas lunch . . . now it's all I can do to stop myself nodding off most evenings.

Things start of 'nod off' in the bedroom as well, or as the old song has it: 'When it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night, then you're the oldest swinger in town.' not that that is always a bad thing !

More good news is that the mind is the body's most erogenous zone. If you, and your partner, are in reasonably good health, stay mentally fit and keep your imagination stimulated then there's no reason why you shouldn't enjoy an active and fulfilling sex life.

Fortunately for men with potency problems these days there are 'little blue pills': Viagra and Cialis; that will make an erection stronger and longer lasting. This is bio-mechanical engineering, not miracle working, based in increasing blood-supply and you need to remember that you have to be aroused to get an erection in the first place. This is where using your imagination plus some stimulation from an understanding partner comes in 'handy'.

Libido patches and pheromones work for some people and 'potions and lotions' can be used to spice up your love life. Vaginal Lubricants can magnify pleasurable sensations for both men and women, and these days lubes and massage oils come in a wide range of scents and flavours . . . try anything with peppermint or menthol in for an Extra Strong effect. Vibrators are a proven way of increasing a women's pleasure and even her orgasmic ability, but can also be very useful for the male both in terms of his ability to 'pleasure' his partner and his own arousal. Talk with your partner about what turns you on and don't be afraid to experiment.

Ironically the most effective sex toy - and the one we have had the most fun with - was a CB-3000 male chastity belt, although I'm prepared to accept it may well be other people's idea of kinky rather than erotic.

I bought it, from UberKinky, as a surprise after we had read a newspaper story about a man getting caught wearing one while going through an airport security metal detector, and presented Clare with the keys on a silver chain wear around her neck . . . while I was wearing the belt.

To her credit she didn't scream and run off to a divorce lawyer but actually entered into the spirit of the thing enthusiastically . . . maybe even a touch too enthusiastically. But then if you think about it what woman wouldn't get something of a thrill about having the keys to the family jewels handed over to her safe, and exclusive, keeping?

The 'rules' we have evolved mean that I only wear the belt when Clare orders me to, or when she has the keys around her neck or when she calls me to let me know she has the keys. When she calls on a Friday night it can lend a whole new meaning to the term 'Long Weekend'.

I find wearing the chastity belt, incredibly arousing and frustrating in equal measure. It is comfortable and unobtrusive to wear and yet at the same time very secure. You soon get used to having it on, even sleeping in it, and yet you are always aware of its presence.

It is a very strange sensation to have any part of your own body locked away from you, unable even to touch yourself. Sex is obviously out of the question, as is masturbation, even getting an erection or any form of physical stimulation, until or unless your keyholder permits it . . . mentally however I'm on overdrive.

It's a strange thing, having been married for more than 25 years we both lead busy lives, have just comfortably slipped into a routine - as all couples inevitably do - and it's not unusual for a week or more to go by without us making love and not worry about it.

However from the second I put the CB-3000 on and I literally can't stop think about sex, and specifically with Clare. After all, as I've told her, the most beautiful women in the world could walk by stark naked and I couldn't even raise a smile.

Ironically, for her part it often seems that no sooner have I put the belt on than she can't wait to get it off me. Although she does know that she'll be getting exactly what she wants and exactly when she wants it.

So yes, the male menopause is real, even if its effects aren't always as obvious and debilitating as they are for females, and it certainly doesn't need to mean the end of sex for either of you. Take your time and make time for yourselves, let's face it the kids are probably grown and gone, so it is one commodity you should finally have lots of ! Pleasure deferred can often be pleasure preferred.

Explore your own and each other's bodies anew, learn about the changes taking place and learn to live with them.

Finally, Men, remember to keep yourselves as mentally and physically fit as you can. And if the men-opause just gets too much for you . . . simply do three or four miles on the monthly cycle.