Beginner's Guide To Paddling
Roll down those trousers, UberKinky friends! If you thought we were here to help you get the most out of your casual stroll in the sea, then what can we say? You’re in for a real treat. This type of paddle could leave you ‘wet’, but it will be for a very different reason. So get practising that backhand folks, because what we’ve got in mind for you is a whole new ball game.
If you haven’t already, it’s essential that you check out our Beginner’s Guide To Spanking for general information on safety, warm up techniques, positions and aftercare.
So, you’re feeling rather excited? Well we can certainly relate! But don’t go overboard; avoid getting yourself into deep water by paying close attention to this section. Although we’ve already covered the main safety concerns in our Beginner’s Guide To Spanking, there are a number of additional points worth noting for you paddling participants.
Despite there being no danger of ‘wrapping’ as with some other spanking implements, it is still important to practise your technique prior to engaging in a quick game of ping pong on your bottom’s backside.
Bruising is a common end result of this play, whereas cuts and abrasions are not. However, this very much depends upon the implement that you use. It’s always better to be safe than sorry, so be sure to have a first aid kit handy (complete with latex gloves and antibacterial cleaner) in case any skin damage should occur.
But have no fear; as long as you follow our advice we promise that you’ll never find yourself ‘up the creek...’!
- Practice on a pillow beforehand
- Avoid the coccyx, back, spine, kidney, face and neck
- Be gentle with the breasts and genitals
- Check surface/edges are smooth and do not have splinters
- Hit using the edge of your tool
- Strike the joints (particularly the ankles, knees and elbows)
- Share paddles made from porous materials with multiple partners
So you’re a little shallow! Well who isn’t? Just remember; looks can be deceptive. So before you go ahead and choose the one that simply appeals to your inner artist, we’ve detailed everything you need to know below. We’d like to say it’s just because we care, but doing the research was a LOT of fun ;)
If you’ve read any of our other impact play guides, you’re bound to know that there are two sensations typically associated with spanking. One is ‘stingy’ and the other is ‘thuddy’. A sting is felt on the surface of the skin, whereas a thud is a much deeper pain that is almost like being pushed or poked hard in the ‘sweet spot’. This type of play is more commonly associated with a ‘thuddy’ pain; however some paddles will deliver a satisfying sting.
Now, you know what they say, “good things come in small packages”! Well, I guess that depends largely upon your definition of ‘good’. Small paddles will certainly sting, but their larger counterparts, on the other hand, will deliver a deep ‘thuddy’ pain. Here at UberKinky we’re more than just a little greedy, so it goes without saying that we like a bit of both! All you need to remember is;
Large + heavy + rigid = thuddy
Small + light + flexible = stingy
You’re likely to feel as though you’ve got a hole in one with this terrifying toy! This aerodynamic implement has multiple holes to decrease air resistance and intensify sting. Well known for severity, it can often result in blisters, so always take care and practise prior to your play. Not to burst your bubble, but this is definitely not an ideal choice for beginners.
Forget the Doppler effect; the Knoppler effect is something altogether more intriguing! Knoppler paddles are short leather tools, rectangular in shape. Often made from pliable materials they can deliver quite the sting, however wooden versions are also available. Because of the large surface area, the intensity of the pain is not quite so severe, making them suitable for beginners.
Beware that bottoms don’t get caught short when they see this! This dangerous device is bound to instil fear in all that come across it. A short board does not have a handle; it is simply attached to the hand with a strap. This means that the Top can put their full force and power into the swing. One thing’s for sure; there’ll be no danger of getting bored!
There’ll be no shortage of fun with this dangerous device! For those that want to turn up the voltage in their spanking scene and discover shocking pleasure, this is just the trick. Be sure to apply your electro conductive gel to the skin for best results. We recommend giving this tool a wide berth until you’ve had a little (LOT) of practise.
This is an all new breed of vampire bat! The severely sadistic nature of this tool makes it only suitable for much more experienced players. The brutal design feature, consisting of sharp spikes, will pierce the skin, leaving behind a bloody bottom. Absolutely not for the hemophobes amongst us; this is the ultimate in blood impact play. Be sure to take all the necessary precautions against blood borne diseases!
Are you a bit of a soft touch? Then this could be just what you’re looking for. Unlikely to mark its territory, this furry friend can sometimes struggle to leave a lasting impression. That is unless, of course, you both get off on some superior sensation play. It is sometimes used for a gentle warm up in the prelude to the main paddling performance.
Leather guarantees to get you in the spanking mood! The sensation experienced will vary depending on how it is used; however, due to its pliability it can often be somewhat ‘stingy’. On occasion, what looks like leather is actually wood wrapped in leather. In this instance, you will end up with something that is altogether more rigid and ‘thuddy’ upon impact.
It may steal the limelight in terms of intensity; however this material is very dense and can be extremely painful. As such, we recommend that you abstain from using stainless steel until you are a little more skilled.
Start to see things clearly! The bottom may be a little shattered after their play; however, this beautiful bat will remain intact. Robust and durable, it is extremely unlikely to break. This material can be very intense and is likely to make bottoms glassy eyed, so we recommend that you give it a miss until you’re a little more practised.
Do you want something that delivers an intense and deep pain with every strike? Well, for those that like to dabble in the ‘hard stuff’, paddles made from wood promise to do just that. Rigid, hard and often heavy, this dangerous device really craves a fleshy ‘sweet spot’ such as the buttocks. It will hit the bottom hard; delivering a real ‘thud’ that quickly turns into a fiery sting.
Everything should run smoothly with an acrylic tool! Similar to plastic in many ways, it is designed to land on the bottom with an almighty sting. Although typically flexible, there are thicker/more dense varieties available. So steer clear of those when you’re starting out, as you’re likely to still be a little rough around the edges.
Want to feed your animalistic instincts? Bamboo may be relatively lightweight and easy to control; however, it is extremely rigid and can cause a lot of pain. So don’t cane it!
Plastic stings! No we’re not faking it; it really does. However, overall pain can be less severe than many other materials because it is lower in density. As such, we can guarantee that there’ll be no chance of bottoms losing their bottle!
We know that we’re in no position to dictate how your spanking scene will play out. However, we like to think that because of our vast experience, you’ll at least take some of our advice.
When it comes to positions, there’s certainly no shortage of options. If you haven’t already, take a look at our Beginner’s Guide to Spanking for a full breakdown. Paddling can be enjoyed in almost every position you can think of, however the optimum stance, particularly if you’re into humiliation play, is OTK (over the knee). Other UberKinky favourites include bent over, lying down and doggy style. However, when using a long instrument it is always best to adopt a standing position.
Because of the deep pain commonly associated with paddling, sometimes people opt to lie down instead of bending. Not only is this much more relaxing, it provides extra protection against those hard hits. For bottoms that aren’t carrying a lot of extra weight, lying down is the preferable choice. When bending over, the muscle and skin is stretched, and for those of us that lack extra padding this could result in irritation of the sciatic nerve.
Before you make your decision, first think about where your ‘sweet spot’ is. It probably comes as no surprise that the most popular paddling place is on the buttocks, which is certainly a firm favourite here at UberKinky. However, with care you can also give some well deserved attention to the inner and back of the thighs, genitals and breasts.
There’ll be no bowman shouting orders to help you out here! That’s why it’s important to master all of your techniques prior to playtime.
To some extent, it is possible to control the intensity and the sensations that the bottom will encounter. However, paddles will always be somewhat ‘thuddier’ than many other spanking implements. Try lifting immediately after impact for more of a ‘sting’, or press down for a deeper ‘thud’. This is unlikely to make a huge impact on the sensation delivered, however, the choice of tool certainly will. Why not try alternating between two different paddles for a sting vs. thud technique? Not only does this give the bottom some much needed rest when one of the sensations becomes too much, it will also keep them floating off into subspace. The perfect punishment!
Another technique ideal for punishment is counting. Some Tops like to enhance the sadistic nature of their play by forcing the bottom to count each individual spanking. This generally involves counting aloud as the paddling takes place. Again, this forces the bottom to remain in a conscious state, with their sole point of focus being the pain.
Now, how do you plan to bring your bottom back to reality if they do end up drifting off into subspace? Well, this is also a very important technique to master. It’s essential that you help them to come to terms with the idea that their paddling will soon be over. This can be achieved in a number of different ways. Some Tops will allow their bottom to pick a number between one and twenty, advising them that this is the number of spankings that will remain. Others will simply dictate a number, or ask their bottom to signal in some way when they are happy for the scene to end.
So, if you’re ready to make a splash in your after hours activities, be sure to get practising!
It’s hardly a stroke of genius, but we’ll tell you anyway; for optimum results, paddles need to be cared for!
Unlike many other spanking tools, paddles are relatively easy to clean. Simply wipe down with hot soapy water after each use, or sterilize using antibacterial toy cleaner or alcohol swabs. Avoid fully submerging it in water as it could affect the rigidity and feel of the material over time. Many (if not all) paddles are constructed from porous materials, so we would advise against sharing with multiple partners. Although the majority of paddles are unlikely to draw blood, we would always recommend that you err on the side of caution.
A little extra care and attention is required for wooden paddles with a finish. All it takes is a little dab of mineral oil now and then to preserve the look and feel. If your wooden toy is unfinished, simply wipe down with a damp cloth.
Leather can be treated with a conditioner, but be sure to test for discolouration on a small patch beforehand.
Remember; clean toys make for dirty fun ;)
So you're ready to get your feet wet, but feel a little out of your depth when it comes to choosing the perfect paddle? Here are the UberKinky bestsellers;
"My girlfriend has just gone over my knee for a bare bottom spanking. What a naughty French maid!! She has a lovely red bum and it made us both really ...well the rest is best left to the imagination...delicious."