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Beginner's Guide To Orgasm Denial

There’s no denying it; edging is becoming an increasingly popular activity. And with good reason! Also known as peaking or surfing, this technique aims to keep submissives in an elevated state of arousal for an extended period of time, but without the promise of a gratifying release at the end. This provides intense physical and psychological satisfaction. This is largely due to the element of power exchange involved. There’s nothing quite as sexy as keeping your playmate incredibly turned on for hours, even days at a time, knowing they are desperate to reach their climax and ready to explode. alternately, those being kept in that highly aroused state will love experiencing all the scintillating sensations that sex play has to offer, for days at a time! Simply put; sex becomes about the journey, not the destination.

So, come on, own up... you’re begging for it, aren’t you?!


Safety First!

Okay, listen very carefully; we shall say this only once! Safety is our number one priority and, as such, it is vital that you pay close attention to this section.

For men, being denied orgasms over a long period of time could lead to a build up of prostatic fluid. This is a major component of semen and can become stagnant if it is not expelled on a regular basis. There is a possibility that this could lead to bacteria growth, which is often the culprit of prostate disease. In order to avoid this fate we recommend that the prostate is milked frequently. although prostate orgasms can be extremely pleasurable, milking can be performed in such a way that no gratification is derived from it whatsoever. Under these circumstances people may opt to use ice on the genitals to reduce enjoyment. Take a look at our Beginner’s Guide to Fetish Related Prostate Health for more information.

Remember; take things slowly. There a great deal of emotions involved with orgasm denial, which can have a massive psychological impact. Overall, it is perhaps one of the safest sexual practices, however, always be sensible.

Now, it’s important that you take our advice if you plan on having a second helping!



  • Communicate
  • Trim your fingernails for prostate milking
  • Regularly milk the prostate of a man you are denying orgasm


  • Rush into anything
  • Go ahead without discussing first
  • Lock someone in chastity without reading our chastity guides first

Types of Denial

Not too sure if orgasm denial is for you? Well, we think thou dost protest too much! Whether alone, or with a partner, this type of play makes orgasms that much more intense (when they do occur), allows you to make the most of those supreme sensations for even longer, and enables practiced control. If controlling and denying someone else, you’ll notice that they are much more attentive to your needs. We've covered just a few of our favourite ways to control/deny orgasm in this guide.

Complete Denial

Complete Denial & Chastity

Okay, we admit it; the idea of no orgasms whatsoever can be a little daunting! But, trust us; it’s well worth it. Complete denial means zero stimulation of the genitals. This can last anywhere between 2 weeks to 2 months, maybe even longer. However, we recommend that you start out at 2-3 days and gradually extend the time period. Often, for added assurance, a chastity device is worn. Creating an increased state of sexual need, it can lead to a more attentive and even hornier playmate. It will also increase tolerance in holding back an orgasm or, indeed, having an orgasm on command. This method of orgasm denial cements the power dynamic within a relationship. It allows one person complete control over the other’s pleasure, which is an extremely powerful experience. Want your play to be really full on? Check out our complete chastity collection!

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Get the edge! This technique is similar to complete denial in the sense that submissives are forbidden from experiencing an orgasm. However, unlike complete denial, the genitals receive stimulation as normal throughout your sex play. In fact, the person being edged (edging can be performed alone or with a friend), will be taken right to the brink of an orgasm and then stimulation will stop altogether. Timing needs to be just right so that the sensation of approaching orgasm fades and does not occur. This can be done many times throughout a session. Sometimes edging is carried out with the submissive in restraints. This is referred to as tie & tease. Many people find it to be even more exciting and intense because the feelings of sexual frustration are accelerated by the feelings of helplessness imposed by bondage. Come on; isn’t it time you started living on the edge?

Ruined Orgasm

Ruined Orgasm

Go on, spoil yourself! This is slightly different to the techniques we have discussed so far, in that this one allows an orgasm to occur, but endeavours to ruin said orgasm so that no enjoyment can be derived from it. In order to be successful, submissives need to be pushed past the point at which an orgasm is inevitable (point of no return). It is then that all stimulation is stopped, discomfort or pain is caused, or ejaculation is ‘blocked’. Ruined orgasms do not feel intense or satisfying like regular orgasms. Often there will be less or no contractions and the sensations are weak and fade away very quickly. In many cases, it is possible to continue stimulation after a ruined orgasm, enabling a continuation towards the next ruined orgasm. Indeed, it is possible to provide multiple in one session. So don’t ruin your chances, read on for the different ways in which you can achieve it;

  1. Put the brakes on! Stop all stimulation at the point of no return. This is the easiest way to ruin an orgasm. If you like to play alone you will be able to read your body and know when you are just at the right point. If playing with a friend, ask them to tell you when they are right on the edge. You have the power to either hold them there, or push them over with a touch more stimulation. This is a great approach for beginners, however, some naughty subs may allow for stimulation to carry on for a couple of seconds too long. But, once you get started with orgasm control, there’ll be no stopping you...
  2. Be a real pain! This requires some discussion beforehand; however, it is a great way to deliver a ruined orgasm. Why not try slapping or flicking the clitoris, glans or testicles at just the right point? Not only is this uncomfortable, it is shocking too. It’s important to slap hard enough to cause some actual pain, otherwise you’re just playing and that could be processed in exactly the opposite way to that which you desire. Of course, this method won’t work for those of you that get off on pain ;)
  3. Turn around when possible! Some people opt to force those naughty swimmers back the way they came. It’s possible to achieve this in one of three ways; by squeezing the penis around the base, just underneath the glans, or putting your finger/thumb over his urethra at the point of no return. Keep hold until the muscle contractions/spasms have stopped and those orgasmic sensations have ended. When the hand/finger is removed, some semen may dribble out. The rest is likely to have gone into the bladder. This will be urinated out the next time he goes to the toilet, giving a cloudy appearance. Commonly referred to as a ‘blocked orgasm’, it is ‘cock blocking’ with a difference!
Tease & Denial

Tease & Denial

Okay, so maybe orgasm denial isn’t for you! Fear not; we’re merely teasing. Our guess is that you’ll enjoy the torment just as much as we do. When engaging in complete denial with a partner, methods for inciting increased arousal make the frustration and whole experience that much more intense. As such, we’ve listed a few ideas to help you really get the most out of your orgasm control. Simply tease out the ones that work best for you!

  1. Assign a meaning to each number on a dice. For example; how many times you will edge that evening, no touching at all, touching of a specific body part and minute’s worth of genital stimulation.
  2. Allow your playmate to stimulate their genitals for a certain amount of time, but only after giving you a certain number of orgasms first.
  3. Encourage them to ‘deny themselves’. This can be done by allowing them to build up a bank of time as the days pass. For example, every day that passes, they are awarded 20 seconds of stimulation by yourself. Tell them that they can cash this in at any time, but the longer they go, the more likely they are to experience an orgasm. With the prospect of having a full orgasm, they will deny themselves for longer, pandering more to your needs.
  4. Allow them to orgasm, but only from certain stimulation, such as dry humping a chair, and within a certain time. Make sure the time frame means that this is not quite achievable.
  5. Simply give your playmate a striptease and masturbate in front of them.

Further Reading

Well, we’ve finally reached the climax of our Beginner’s Guide to Orgasm Denial. However, we refuse to believe that your knowledge has peaked! Take a look at the following guides for more information;

5 Reasons You Should Try Male Chastity

5 Reasons You Should Try Male Chastity

Introduction to Male Chastity

Introduction to Male Chastity

Beginner’s Guide to Male Chastity

Beginner’s Guide to Male Chastity